


Withdrawal

by captainraz



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Gen, Reference to Drug Use, Withdrawal Symptoms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-17
Updated: 2014-10-17
Packaged: 2018-02-21 12:54:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2468915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainraz/pseuds/captainraz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He's had enough addicts in his cells to recognise that what he was going through was withdrawal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Withdrawal

He's had enough addicts in his cells to recognise that what he was going through was withdrawal. All the signs and symptoms were there. Even accounting for his still poorly understood physiology, there was no other word for it.

 

Odo pressed his hands together, hard, and willed them to stop shaking. His whole substance trembled so badly it was difficult to keep his shape. Every cell in his body ached with an intensity he had never known before, and his surface was covered with a sweat like sheen even though he had only regenerated a few hours ago. Not that his regeneration was particularly restful at the moment. Despite his difficulty keeping his humanoid form, spending time in his gelatinous state was even worse. He was restless and fidgety, unable to stay in liquid form no matter how badly he needed to rest. Odo would spend a few minutes regenerating before suddenly careening around the room, rapidly shifting through his entire repertoire of forms then collapsing back into his natural state. If he had been humanoid he would have said he was suffering from insomnia.

 

But he wasn't humanoid and none of the substances that caused these symptoms in humanoids had ever had any effect on him. Prophets knew Mora had tried everything on him. There was only one thing in all the universe that could cause these symptoms in a changeling.

 

It was the Link.

 

For three blissful days he had merged mind body and soul with the female changeling. For three days he had known what it truly meant to be a changeling, and it had almost gotten everyone he cared for killed.

 

The change in his behaviour after exposure to the Link had been startling. He should have realised then that effect of the Link wasn't dissimilar to that of a controlled substance. Quark had frequently accused him of being cold and remote, but he had never been that cold. In his own gruff way he had always cared about these humanoids he was stuck with, and yet because of the female changeling he had spoken of them as inconsequential solids. He'd heard himself say the words as though it were someone else, but even that hadn't been enough to pull him out of his stupor. It wasn't until Kira had been arrested and scheduled for execution that he truly realised the magnitude of his mistake. So he had ripped himself out of paradise and now he was paying the price.

 

Oh he knew he deserved this for what he had done. He had broken a promise, and his neglect had almost resulted in the execution of someone who, though not exactly a friend, was someone Odo certainly didn't want to see dead. He deserved every minute of this agony, but that didn't make it any easier to deal with.

 

The first few days hadn't been so bad. There had been a niggling ache in his cells but his duties had largely been unaffected. He'd welcome Starfleet back with everyone else, and had submitted his report on what had happened during Dominion occupation of the station. Odo had left nothing out, and as a result it had been a rather damning account of all the mistakes he'd made. He'd fully expected Sisko to permanently relieve him of duty, but so far that hadn't happened. Instead, he sat in his office waiting for the axe to fall. As the station put itself back to rights around him he'd slowly come to realise that something was very wrong with him. His linking with the female changeling had irrevocably changed the makeup of his cells.

 

And so there he sat, shivering in his office, feeling miserable with himself. He could ask for help he knew, but he either didn't see the point or didn't want to. Bashir still didn't know enough about his physiology to do much of anything, Dax would be sympathetic but would be in the same boat as Julian. Sisko was presumably still considering whether or not to "fire his ass" as he'd heard it put once. There was one person he felt he could turn to for help, but she wasn't speaking to him; they were both pretending that nothing had happened, but that pretence only held up while they weren't in the same room as each other. No, he couldn't talk to Major Kira about this. He could go talk to Quark, but the Ferengi would probably just laugh at him.

 

So, like the addicts he occasionally had in his cells, he just had to ride it out. In the meantime he wished he'd never found his people, had never heard of the Founders or the Jem'Hadar. He wished he'd never experienced the Link so that he wouldn't know what it was like to miss it. He wished it didn't hurt so much.

 

He was in such a state, he knew he couldn't do his job. But he didn't dare leave his post, not again. So he just sat in his office and trembled, waiting for it to pass.

 

And it would pass. Eventually.

**Author's Note:**

> The very first time I saw "Behind the Lines" I thought there was an interesting parallel between drug addiction and what happens to Odo as a result of the Link. I also thought it was a shame that the consequences of withdrawal weren't explored at all, hence this fic.
> 
> Viewing the Link as equivalent to a drug and Odo as an addict does have the side effect of making the finale sadder, when Kira essentially abandons the man she loves to his addiction.
> 
> You're welcome.


End file.
